How to Know If You are on a Flight to Vegas
By: Saban21 Created:8-01-2008 List Contest: August

 

Like any male of gambling age, I have been on a flight or two to Vegas for a weekend of "savings cleansing" and venues of ill repute. I've come to realize there are a few tell-tale signs that you are on your way to a place which destroys men.

A Disturbingly High Number of Vince Vaughn Quotes

The entire flight...."Vegas Baby! Vegas!"

The Phrase "The First Round is On Me"

On most flights, people don't buy rounds of drinks and they certainly don't buy shots for the guy sitting next to them on the plane. Not on Vegas flight...you'll see more beer flowing than an Eagle Fan Bar the Sunday McNabb gets knocked out for the season.

People are Dressed for the Club

As soon as the flight lands and the bags are grabbed it's time to hit the tables. There is no time for changing. Instead of the usual khaki and polo shirt flight attire, there's the unbuttoned shirt with shiny suit to feign the appearance of being casual, yet having money. Little do these guys realize that any decent vegas gold digger can spot your Men's Warehouse suit a mile away.

4-Packs of Red Bull

If the neon lights, hot girls, and the ringing slot machines weren't enough to keep you awake till 7am, Red Bull guy still feels the need to pre-load as much caffeine as possible. While he'll say it's to keep his poker game "sharp", you can also find this guy ordering a Jack & Coke every time the drink girl comes around.

The Loser with a Blackjack Pocket Guide

This guy doesn't think you need to go to MIT to count cards nor that you can't learn it in a 2 hour flight. You'll see him at the ATM regretting his Cal State Fullerton education later.

Games of Liar's Poker with Singles

This is a good warm up for all the money you are going to lose. Cause let's face it...there is one guy in the plane who knows the odds, and it's not you. Might as well save those singles for the strippers in first class.

The Drink Cart is 90% Alcohol

On a typical flight having beer on the drink cart is the exception. Not on the Vegas flight. This cart only has Coke on it for mixing.

Strippers in First Class

Many strippers make the weekend trip to Vegas to get the high-paying work. While they are normally in street attire, you can always spot these girls carrying their pet Chihuahua, enhanced chest, with no rich guy sitting next to them.

Say 'hi' now because once that flight lands and her war-paint is on, it'll cost you $20.


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