How To Spend Your Stimulus Check
By: keyshark Created:5-14-2008 List Contest: Staff not Eligible

 

Far be it from us to tell you how to spend your money, but here are some better ways to spend it instead of paying off credit cards.

What Rebate?

I'm rich bitch!

Buy Amy Winhouse some More Blow

After rehab, her $1000 a day habit is up to $2k. So, she really needs to money. Anything you can do, will help.

Burn it for Heat

With energy prices so high these days, you're better off just burning it to stay warm.

Put it all on 17

Lets face it, the little amount you're getting isn't going to change anything. Why not get 35x the rebate on lucky 17. Why 17 you ask? WTF not?

Go on a Trip to Cancun

There's nothing like spending your US Economic Stimulus money in Mexico for some cheap beer, and wet t-shirts.

Export your Russian Bride

There's a little gotcha that if you have a foreign wife you don't get a rebate. So you can do one of two things:

1.) Buy her a pint of Absolut and put her on the next plane to Moscow
2.) Put her on eBay and see if you can seller her to someone who already got the rebate.

Cash it in for Singles

That's the kind of stimulus package I prefer.


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