Guy: I hope my daughters are ugly so I don't have to worry about guys hitting on them...
Girl: Well let's hope they take after you then

Girl: I have to pee.

Guy: You always have to pee, you must be pregnant!

Girl: No I'm not.

Guy: Yes, yes you are. You are pregnant with my child.

Girl: No, I'm not.

Guy: Yes you are, and we will name it "Gablo del Diablo."

Girl: No, we won't.

Towers elevator, between a guy getting on and a girl getting out:

Girl: "HEY! Don't I know you?"
Guy: "Um, uh... I dunno."
(elevator door closes)
Guy, to remaining group in elevator: "I think I hooked up with her like the first week of school."

Two girls at the bus stop near jester.

Girl 1: So...how was he?
Girl 2: He was like fucking ken doll!

Girl to friends:

"So then he dropped me off, and I just turned and said 'Thanks for the meaningless sex!' I hope it didn't, like hurt his feelings or anything.."

Some guys watching a football game @ Pluckers. One out of all of them is drinking a Martini:

"Dude Martinis are like boobs...one is not enough and 3 is too many."

Girl on phone:

"I've been drinking, but I'm not drunk. I know I'm not drunk because I've been driving."

at Flightpath:

"I'm still not 100% sure that I'm not a virgin."