Penalty: A kicker is drafted for you in the 1st round

...given that you are "drunk". However, your friends are allowed to mock you for no greater than the next two times out.

Note: Even, if you break and enter to steal beer...under no circumstances take the last one. We aren't animals.

If your buddy gets a lap dance, you are not allowed to get one from that girl the rest of the night.

The only exception is if she's a headliner and the rest of the girls are missing teeth.

There are certain things which must be respected.

History must be respected.

If they can't stop Bo Jackson running all over them then it is your duty to embarrass them until they man up.

If your buddy's girlfriend ever asks you where he is....you don't know.

Assuming that you do not go out drinking with your neighbor and he's a douche.

...but not for more than 3 seconds. Then it's just staring.