Why Girls Cheat and How to Stop It
By: keyshark Created:4-16-2008 List Contest: Staff not Eligible

 

Girls cheat all the time without you ever being the wiser (though it's never happened to me).

The Buge Hoobs crack investigation team interviewed* hundreds of girls to find out just why they do it and how to stop it. If you actually have a girlfriend, look for your situation and implement how to stop it.

* "Interview" and "watching TV" are synonymous

Grass is Greener

It is greener. You should really look into a Goomah (if you are not in the mob, then just get a mistress)

You have a Pool Boy

If you're dumb enough to have a pool boy, then you are asking to get cheated on. Everyone knows that they are irresistible.

Alternatively, you can get a nanny.

You're an Insensitive Prick

She's probably going to break up with you anyways. So, the best thing to do is have one final F-You. Something like sleeping with her best friend.

You're Cheap

Yes...you're a cheap bastard, but if you give a little ground here it'll save you a lot of coin to wine and dine the next girl.

All you need to do is let her super-size her McDonald's.

She's working on her next Investment

Girls are more business savvy than we give them credit for. Just like men are always on the lookout for a higher-paying job....so are they. You could always pick up another job at the Gap to keep them.

Personally, I'd just look for another up-and-comer. Here's a few: Hottest Gold Diggers

She's Moving Up the Corporate Ladder

Going from barback to bartender is a big step. You should really encourage her to get that coveted night manager position.


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