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| By: keyshark | Created:3-14-2008 | List Contest: Staff not Eligible |
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Ohio or as they pronounce it "Ahio", is a hotbed of inbred transient Carnies, who couldn't spell their way out of the 3rd grade. Now that I got that off my chest, I'll *try* sticking to facts.
Here are just a few reasons that Jersey has no right to be called the Armpit of America.
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Nickname: The Horseshoe
Basic Admission Requirements: To be admitted one must be Inbred, Unbathed, Intoxicated, and Clinically Mentally Retarded.
Attractions: Animals from the Columbus petting zoo a.k.a the buckeye football team.
Sporting a buckstache often leads one to a life of crime and perversion.
Ohio has a sick fascination with corn. A popular saying there is: "Knee high by the fourth of July"
Charles Darwin would rewrite the book on evolution if he ever attended an Ohio State Football Game.
Reggie Germany somehow maintained his academic eligibility at Ohio State with a 0.0 GPA
There's the old joke: How do you get an OSU grad off your front porch.....You pay him for the pizza.
Ohio has it's own distinctive smell. Think I'm joking, try driving through Sandusky.
Some examples of their laws:
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- It is illegal to hunt for whales on Sunday.
- In Bexley, it is prohibited to install or use slot machines in outhouses.
- In Cleveland, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
- It's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a license.
- Oxford, it is unlawful for a woman to appear in public while unshaven.
This includes the face.
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3-26-2008 6:36 pm
You are so wrong about some things, but so right about others. As a resident of Ohio and an OSU student, I think you over-exaggerated most of the things on the list, but if you wonder outside the student section of the horseshoe on gameday, you will run into a few cavemen lookin people.
3-27-2008 12:24 am
This guy must be from Jersey, no one would try to refute the fact that Jersey is the Armpit of America, and coming from a person from Jersey who came to O State, I can say that Ohio is about 39843943X better than Jersey. Sure, we can't beat the SEC, but no one else is coming close to beating them. Sure, Florida and LSU have made us their bitch, but we shouldn't have made it to the BCS bowl game against LSU in the first place, we just choked the least. But either way, Ohio rules, and anyone who says otherwise can suck on it.
3-30-2008 7:02 am
As a graduate of a school farther north I "wonder" around in Ohio as little as possible - see the comment on out of state drivers.
4-02-2008 8:18 am
While I really hate Ohio and have to agree with you on a lot of things you can't really talk trash about OSU. It's a great school and I'm sure provides a better education than someone who spends their time writing articles like this. This douche probably lives in Michigan.
4-19-2008 8:22 am
I love Jersey. Never been to Ohio, but they speak funny, anyway. So do people from Michigan.
5-06-2008 11:45 pm
>In response to the comment "they speak funny," northern Ohioans have a neutral newscaster-like accent, whereas the south has either a midwestern or (in the extremes) a southern accent. It's linguistic diversity coincides with its cultural diversity. It is a true juxtaposition of the industrial east (see Akron/Canton, Cleveland, and Toledo) and the rural midwest. While it isn't home to any out of the ordinary schools, Ohio State is a top-tier public school, and schools like Miami of Ohio are also well ranked. A couple random facts about Cleveland: It's metropolitan area has one of the most thorough and efficient public library systems in the country, Playhouse Square is a Theater district second only to Broadway in the United States, and The University Hospital system is one of the best in the country. While I realize this was intended for comedic purposes, it only focuses on a small part of the population of Ohio. if you wanna talk about carny freaks, look at Texas. I cannot, however, deny that the police officers are assholes.
5-21-2008 1:03 pm
new jersey has a dumb ass owner of their basketball team in jay-z who doesn't even own a college degree, you just said how bad ohio state is not the state of ohio, and all your facts are over exagerrated, and how do northern ohio speak weird? because we don't speak like inbred hill billies?
8-10-2008 3:34 pm
Jersey and ohio suck balls...bunch of slack jawed faggots...hill billy white trash...garden state ass lickers...ohio state cousin f**kers...jersey city scumbags...cleveland cocksuckers
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