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| By: keyshark | Created:3-14-2008 | List Contest: Staff not Eligible |
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Ohio or as they pronounce it "Ahio", is a hotbed of inbred transient Carnies, who couldn't spell their way out of the 3rd grade. Now that I got that off my chest, I'll *try* sticking to facts.
Here are just a few reasons that Jersey has no right to be called the Armpit of America.
Ohio is totally flat, every town looks exactly the same, the economy is terrible, and people can never leave.
While Ohio may not have the highest crime rate, they do have the most f'd up.
I can't do the article above justice....just read it.
Some examples of their laws:
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- It is illegal to hunt for whales on Sunday.
- In Bexley, it is prohibited to install or use slot machines in outhouses.
- In Cleveland, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
- It's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a license.
- Oxford, it is unlawful for a woman to appear in public while unshaven.
This includes the face.
Ohio has one of the highest concentration of carnies in the US.
Losing 2 National Championships in 4 months...And Florida has the real Miami.
The only way Ohio is ever going to get some respect is to become a Territory of Kentucky.
Any out-of-state drivers will be pulled over for doing 3 over (I shit you not).
Ohio's first traffic accident occurred when there only two cars in the *entire* state. Yet since they were too stubborn to yield the right of way to one another, they beat all odds of hitting another car.
Horses demonstrate more intelligence than that, but then again...it's Ohio.
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3-26-2008 6:36 pm
You are so wrong about some things, but so right about others. As a resident of Ohio and an OSU student, I think you over-exaggerated most of the things on the list, but if you wonder outside the student section of the horseshoe on gameday, you will run into a few cavemen lookin people.
3-27-2008 12:24 am
This guy must be from Jersey, no one would try to refute the fact that Jersey is the Armpit of America, and coming from a person from Jersey who came to O State, I can say that Ohio is about 39843943X better than Jersey. Sure, we can't beat the SEC, but no one else is coming close to beating them. Sure, Florida and LSU have made us their bitch, but we shouldn't have made it to the BCS bowl game against LSU in the first place, we just choked the least. But either way, Ohio rules, and anyone who says otherwise can suck on it.
3-30-2008 7:02 am
As a graduate of a school farther north I "wonder" around in Ohio as little as possible - see the comment on out of state drivers.
4-02-2008 8:18 am
While I really hate Ohio and have to agree with you on a lot of things you can't really talk trash about OSU. It's a great school and I'm sure provides a better education than someone who spends their time writing articles like this. This douche probably lives in Michigan.
4-19-2008 8:22 am
I love Jersey. Never been to Ohio, but they speak funny, anyway. So do people from Michigan.
5-06-2008 11:45 pm
>In response to the comment "they speak funny," northern Ohioans have a neutral newscaster-like accent, whereas the south has either a midwestern or (in the extremes) a southern accent. It's linguistic diversity coincides with its cultural diversity. It is a true juxtaposition of the industrial east (see Akron/Canton, Cleveland, and Toledo) and the rural midwest. While it isn't home to any out of the ordinary schools, Ohio State is a top-tier public school, and schools like Miami of Ohio are also well ranked. A couple random facts about Cleveland: It's metropolitan area has one of the most thorough and efficient public library systems in the country, Playhouse Square is a Theater district second only to Broadway in the United States, and The University Hospital system is one of the best in the country. While I realize this was intended for comedic purposes, it only focuses on a small part of the population of Ohio. if you wanna talk about carny freaks, look at Texas. I cannot, however, deny that the police officers are assholes.
5-21-2008 1:03 pm
new jersey has a dumb ass owner of their basketball team in jay-z who doesn't even own a college degree, you just said how bad ohio state is not the state of ohio, and all your facts are over exagerrated, and how do northern ohio speak weird? because we don't speak like inbred hill billies?
8-10-2008 3:34 pm
Jersey and ohio suck balls...bunch of slack jawed faggots...hill billy white trash...garden state ass lickers...ohio state cousin f**kers...jersey city scumbags...cleveland cocksuckers
4-18-2009 8:24 am
You're f**king gay, Ohio will eat your soul, and wait until next year when we get to impose our will on whoever wants to mess with the Bucks in Football.
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