Alternative Fantasy Football Selection Methods - Buge Hoobs

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Alternative Fantasy Football Selection Methods

By: keyshark

Created:8-26-2008

Sure, you could do value-based drafting, or use the Yahoo rankings, but those are sure ways to lose your league. Here are some proposed alternative drafting methods.

4 - Cutest Mascot Method

This is my girlfriend's method of choice. And for some reason it is very effective.

Must Draft:

All Bronco players - I've been informed that Miles is the cutest one

Must Skip:

All Redskins - This mascot is terrifying

3 - Longest Rap Sheet Method

The basic premise is that if someone has a long rap sheet and yet an NFL team will still let them play....they must be very good. It's just too bad that Mick Vick isn't up for grabs this year.

Must Draft:

Randy Moss - Battery, Probation violation, and "Bumping" a traffic control officer with his car

Chris Henry - Multiple gun charges, aggravated assault, multiple DUIs, providing alcohol to minors, and failing drug tests

Marvin Harrison - While he was never charged in the shooting, it's just a matter of time before he "makes it rain" and shoots up a strip club

Must Skip:

Peyton Manning - He's never even gotten into the NFL pot scene.

2 - Madden Method

Use Madden '09 as a predictor to how well players will perform.

Must Draft:

LaDainian Tomlinson - This is no surprise that LT is unstoppable

Tom Brady - You will never get a dropped pass

Antonio Gates - Catches everything and is impossible to tackle

Must Skip:

Brett Favre - Just when we thought the Madden curse would certainly be broken, Favre comes back from retirement. This can only mean he'll be injured or have a horrible season

1 - Hottest Girlfriend Method

Stars always get the ladies, and the NFL is no exception.

Must Draft:

Jeff Garcia - Carmella Decesare puts those gay rumors to bed and makes Jeff the top pick in the draft

Tom Brady - Tom has a history of ridiculous models. He's a sure thing...

Tony Romo - Good thing brains aren't part of this girlfriend equation

Chris Cooley - His fiancee Christy Oglevee makes him the top TE available

Must Skip:

Philip Rivers - I'm sure Tiffany has a great personality

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BlueDevil's Teaser Picks

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