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Alternative Fantasy Football Selection Methods
By: keyshark Created:8-26-2008 List Contest: Staff not Eligible

 

Sure, you could do value-based drafting, or use the Yahoo rankings, but those are sure ways to lose your league. Here are some proposed alternative drafting methods.

Cutest Mascot Method

This is my girlfriend's method of choice. And for some reason it is very effective.

Must Draft:

  • All Bronco players - I've been informed that Miles is the cutest one

    Must Skip:

  • All Redskins - This mascot is terrifying
  • Longest Rap Sheet Method

    The basic premise is that if someone has a long rap sheet and yet an NFL team will still let them play....they must be very good. It's just too bad that Mick Vick isn't up for grabs this year.

    Must Draft:

  • Randy Moss - Battery, Probation violation, and "Bumping" a traffic control officer with his car
  • Chris Henry - Multiple gun charges, aggravated assault, multiple DUIs, providing alcohol to minors, and failing drug tests
  • Marvin Harrison - While he was never charged in the shooting, it's just a matter of time before he "makes it rain" and shoots up a strip club

    Must Skip:

  • Peyton Manning - He's never even gotten into the NFL pot scene.
  • Madden Method

    Use Madden '09 as a predictor to how well players will perform.

    Must Draft:

  • LaDainian Tomlinson - This is no surprise that LT is unstoppable
  • Tom Brady - You will never get a dropped pass
  • Antonio Gates - Catches everything and is impossible to tackle

    Must Skip:

  • Brett Favre - Just when we thought the Madden curse would certainly be broken, Favre comes back from retirement. This can only mean he'll be injured or have a horrible season
  • Hottest Girlfriend Method

    Stars always get the ladies, and the NFL is no exception.

    Must Draft:

  • Jeff Garcia - Carmella Decesare puts those gay rumors to bed and makes Jeff the top pick in the draft
  • Tom Brady - Tom has a history of ridiculous models. He's a sure thing...
  • Tony Romo - Good thing brains aren't part of this girlfriend equation
  • Chris Cooley - His fiancee Christy Oglevee makes him the top TE available

    Must Skip:

  • Philip Rivers - I'm sure Tiffany has a great personality

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    November Epic List Leaders

    BlueDevil's Teaser Picks

    Week 10:

    No teaser this week because this game is so far off:

      Falcons (-1.5) to Carolina straight up

    Week 9: Lose

      Packers -10 adjusted to -3 (Bucks)
      Houston +9 adjusted to +16 (Colts)

    2009 Record: (6-3)
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